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Truckloads of Venomous Snakes

It all started quite simply with Adam & Eve
And one sleazy snake with no good up its sleeve
But things went from “no good” to real bad to much worse
And they quickly descended right into a curse
And the Garden of Eden was all shot to Hell
Why, you can’t even go there to sit for a spell

And that eavesdropping snake heard what God told those two
About fruitful multiplying – it’s strange but it’s true
So snake trouble then doubled, quadrupled, and grew
Over and under, all around and back through
And that lone snake that bid them,
Of this apple, partake!
Has become truckloads of venomous snakes

Yes the modern man sees that all his misery equates
With all those truckloads of venomous snakes

Halitosis, thrombosis, and sin
And how Ol' Murphy gets under his skin
Decline of the dollar to the yen
And his yen for the wife of a friend
You can see for yourself – goodness sakes
That his bunions and the neighbor he hates
Are due to truckloads of venomous snakes

Financial instabilities
The breakdown of our families
Mutated new strains of disease
And the snap, crackle, pop of his knees
And even wildlife on low-level lakes
Including hapless and long-missing drakes
Feed greedy truckloads of venomous snakes

The loss of our ozone firewall
His dog that won’t come to his call
It’s the source of the ills of us all
Spring forward and back in the fall
What nightmares lead up to dawn’s break!
What new disaster awaits when he wakes?
Another truckload of venomous snakes

Racial tensions and social unrest
The many evils of reading ‘bout Seth
          And the twelve leading causes of death
The very reason he can’t catch his breath    It’s obvious that lopper-smashed gates
And a sad dearth of blueberry pancakes
Hark back to truckloads of venomous snakes

(Spoken aside follows, with the enthusiasm of a megaphone-toting cheerleader:)

Well, one more time, ladies and gentlemen
We’re really on a roll now
And here it comes around
You’ll know your part when you hear it…

His quagmire of credit on a card
Sorry biscuits that are made without lard
Autumn leaves that fill up his front yard
And any time that he can’t keep a hard
Varied mysterious outtakes
Sundry mathematical mistakes
High tides, tornadoes, earthquakes
And a world of divorce and heartaches
Yodel-o-de-o-loathsome cheap fakes
And that bullcrap they call station breaks
On account of truckloads of venomous snakes

(Spoken aside follows, with the zeal of a veteran sideshow barker:)

One more time, but this time with your best
Richard M. Nixon- jowl-flappin’ impersonation
Here we go…

Oh yes them truckloads of venomous snakes

Dusk:  Lead Vocal, Chorus Vocals
DeDe Vogt:  Electric Bass Guitar, Harmonica
Linda Bolley:  Drums
L.A. Tuten:  Tuba
Rodger French:  Accordion
Mark Van Allen:  Pedal Steel Guitar
Johnny Mosier:  Acoustic Guitar
Elise Witt, Melanie Hammett, Berné Poliakoff:  Chorus Vocals

Leslie Wilson contributed valuable insights when Truckloads of Venomous Snakes first took serpentine shape in my superconscious.  Key among these insights was her illuminating remark, “Well, it all goes back to The Garden.”  Eureka!

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This site was last updated 04/25/06